Hollywood Film Mary Poppins Banned in Phuket

The Disney classic movie Merry Poppins has been banned by officials in the resort destination of Phuket.
Concerned local officials have instigated the action as a direct result of a series of unlawful use of umbrellas by tourists at local beaches
Given Poppins openly defiant use of an umbrella in the movie, it's thought that viewing the film could trigger widespread unrest amongst the local population and potentially incite pubic disobedience.
Disney officials have not returned our calls.
Over the weekend, potential flares ups have been on the increase when a foreigner, Josef Slobowski from Minsk was arrested after he wandered out of his oceanfront hotel with his welcome Mojito in his hand. In a twist of fate, it turned out the drink had a toothpick umbrella in and ever vigilant law officers immediately jailed the tourist for the illegal act of possessing an umbrella on a Phuket beach.
While Slobowski posted bail and was released, he again was arrested hours later for a second time for the illegal act of using a beach mat on the public ocean front. Officers later admitted they made a mistake, once they learned that the mat was in fact the rather large shirt of the 150 kilo former Russian wrestler nicknamed "The Moscow Mule." The tourist had taken off his shirt in preparation for an afternoon hot yoga session.
Of course the above is a fictional account but the recent media account of a Swedish family who were barred from using their own umbrella for their young child by local officials in Patong simply has shown the ugly side of the islands great beach clearance.
As we are already well into the transition to high season Phuket's oceanfront policy remains as vexing as Donald Trump's hair. It defies logic and reason. Are personal umbrellas, beach mates and other instruments of leisure to remain forbidden?
A story in the local news has made mention of the government considering 'renting' ideas from local vendors, but isn't this exactly what got us into this mess in the first place? What about shops that sell these items, or else locals who dare to have their own personal umbrellas?
What's clear is, it's a bit late in the day to start making a knee jerk reaction as high season is a regular event that has occurred for at least the last ten or twenty years. The clean up of Phuket's beaches has considerable merit but the massive 'missing in action' policy of what comes next is a massive blunder at a time the government is looking to attract returning visitors.